When Mandy Gonzalez was a teenager growing up in Southern California, her eighth grade class took a field trip. But this wasn’t just any field trip: They went to see Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles starring Glenn Close. Yes, the pre-Broadway production that was running at the same time as the London production starring Patti LuPone. Though at the time, Gonzalez wasn’t aware of any of the behind-the-scenes drama or the lawsuits.

“I mostly remember the set; I was so young. And I remember the music and how that made me feel,” says Gonzalez. “Andrew Lloyd Webber has always been, like, this pinnacle for me—I want to sing this music.” In the years since—even after she originated the role of Nina Rosario in In the Heights on Broadway, starred as Elphaba in Wicked, and as Angelica in Hamilton—Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard continued to be Gonzalez’s dream role. In recent years, she’s incorporated “As If We Never Said Goodbye” into her concerts.

So, Gonzalez is definitely living her dream every Tuesday night, as the guest star in the Sunset Blvd. revival on Broadway, directed by Jamie Lloyd. Pop star Nicole Scherzinger leads the show seven times a week. But once a week, musical theatre fans can see Gonzalez take on the historically coveted role of Norma Desmond. And this month, Gonzalez is performing for almost a full week—January 7–11. 

While Gonzalez has been nicknamed “The Beast” for her powerhouse vocals, her playing Norma isn’t just about being able to belt the show’s iconic songs, “With One Look” and “As If We Never Said Goodbye.” As she’s gotten older, she’s now 46, Gonzalez has begun to feel an affinity for Norma—a woman who found fame as a teenage silent movie star but was subsequently discarded by the film industry as she aged. Even though she’s been acting for almost 25 years, Gonzalez has had her share of setbacks.

When she began in the business, Gonzalez was told she should change her last name so that she would be more hirable, and that she was never going to lead a show. "I was told at a very early age that I would not be able to do those roles because of my last name and because I was Latina—I didn't fit into that box of what they thought a leading lady looked like," she says. That criticism persisted even when Gonzalez originated her first role on Broadway in 2002, in the short-lived (and similarly bloody) Dance of the Vampires. "I was told that I didn't look like a typical leading girl next door. And I was like, 'Well, what does that mean?' Like, I am a girl next door."

Then in her breakout role, as the ambitious Nina in 2008's In the Heights, she was that "girl next door." But despite the success of that show, afterwards, Gonzalez still found herself knocking on doors that remained stubbornly shut. 

“Between the time of Wicked and then coming back to Broadway with Hamilton, I think it was about four years. And during that time, I was going to so many auditions,” she explains. “And during those auditions, I didn’t have money. And I would take my kid to those auditions, and I would sit outside with a babysitter and pay them for, like, the 10 minutes I could go in. And I remember casting people kind of looking and going, ‘Oh, I don’t know about this. This is complicated.’”

What did she do? Well, similar to Norma, Gonzalez began writing her own material—starting with her own concerts.

“I put together my little bit of money I had for a director, and I put together a show at 54 Below. And then all of a sudden, people started to see me in that and then hire me for other things,” she explains. Those other things included Hamilton, written by her longtime friend Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Simon & Schuster saying yes to publishing her teenage book series, Fearless. Gonzalez also released an album of original songs, also called Fearless. 

Then Gonzalez was diagnosed with breast cancer while working on Hamilton in 2019, and still performed even when she was going through chemotherapy. But looking back on those years now, Gonzalez isn't sad that the journey's been tough; she's grateful to have made it through. "I think it made me a much better artist. Because you have to continue the fight. You have to survive, not just for myself, but for my family.” 

So for this version of Sunset Blvd., she’s infused that ferocious sense of survival into her Norma, as well as an aching need for approval. “I think Norma is somebody who definitely wants to be respected, wants to be loved,” says Gonzalez. “I think that she’s a survivor of so many things. Being in this business for 25 years, you can’t say that you’re anything but a survivor...Myself becoming a mother, and going through that in this business, and going through cancer. I think [Norma’s] always going to want to survive. And that’s why, I think at the end, she says she can’t surrender.”

Norma won’t surrender, and neither will Gonzalez. She is used to being told no and persevering anyway, while expanding the roles that Latine actors can play on Broadway. She's very aware that she's only the second Latina to ever play Norma in a production of Sunset, after Rita Moreno in the West End. "Having to fight that stereotype in my career, I think that helps me as Norma," she says pensively before adding, with visible pride, "but I think it also helps me to have those moments of, 'Look, look how far you've come! You did it.'"

That's not to say that this dream role is easy. Every week, before she steps into Norma’s black slip dress, Gonzalez gets to the theatre early so she has enough time to walk through the entire show. It's a physically demanding role, and Gonzalez is on stage almost the entire time, even when she's not speaking or in the scene. And her visage is frequently displayed on a gigantic 4K screen. For Gonzalez, that screen and those close-ups (even if she's ready for them) can be "triggering." Yes, aging is part of life, but "in HD, it's hard," Gonzalez says with a slight grimace. "I really try not to look at [the screen], because if I do...I'll judge myself, and I'll go, 'Oh, I wish I could look like this.'" 

What Sunset and this part of her life have taught her so far is the beauty of letting go—and how freeing it can be to not obsess about how she looks (though Gonzalez did advocate for wearing her natural curls on the stage) or how she sounds. She's learning to forgive herself on days she doesn't hit those high notes that came so naturally in her youth—though diva watchers can rejoice, with the help of her longtime vocal coach Wendy Parr, this is the best that Gonzalez has ever sounded on stage.

"Part of getting older, and part of the beauty of that is letting go of perfection," she says serenely. "Some days I'll come in, and this is how my voice is. And instead of trying to fight that and make it what I think it should be or what it used to do—when I was just coming up and wanted everybody to like me and all that kind of stuff. I think it allows you to have a more freedom as a singer, to let go of that."

In Sunset Blvd., Norma spends her evenings watching her old films, haunted by her younger self. This production does the same to the actors playing Norma. On the nights Gonzalez is on, Sunset incorporates a very overt In the Heights reference (though we won’t tell you where). On Gonzalez's first night in the show October 22, 2024, the cast of In the Heights was in the audience to cheer her on. 

“They were so excited. They were screaming,” says Gonzalez with a wide smile. “They’re my family here. They are always with me.” She also means that literally, because in the show, “they’re there every night on the screen.”

While Gonzalez does have to reencounter her younger self in Sunset, unlike Norma, she isn't haunted; she doesn't feel the need to become that "girl next door" again. "I hear the recording of Nina Rosario, and I know who that girl was. And that girl has grown up. So I'm just happy that I get to continue to create."